Subject Profile Report
Summary
Name:
Wooding, Mark James
Also Known As:
Mark Wooding; Hey You; Scholasticus Chimpus
Wanted For:
Assault with a deadly terrapin.
Also Wanted For:
Giving unsolicited advice.
Suspected Of:
Collecting various public domain poems and confining them against their will into a single volume.
ID Method:
CIA file provided by Podunkin, VA secret office, in exchange for a box of Podunkin Donuts.
Associated Interests
Modus Operandi
Last Known Means of Contact
Physical Description
Race:
Improbable; subject is too slow.
Gender:
Yes
Eye Color:
Black
Hair Color:
Reddish Brown
Distinctive Features:
Round head, yellow complexion, angular nose.